Oh, the Places Johnny Will Go

The sports media ran wild with a story on the new Cleveland Browns QB hanging out in Vegas last weekend, including a LA Times article titled “Johnny Manziel returns to partying ways with weekend in Vegas”. A young, rich football player was in Vegas on a UFC fight night, and that’s now worthy of a story in one of the biggest newspapers in the country. Manziel also posted a picture of himself and Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski poolside with lots of bikini-clad women, which also brought about criticism. It’s all a product of a never-ending social media news cycle, and it’s all pointless. Even the Browns think so, in a league where most of the time teams handle player issues with a complete lack of common sense. In fact, Cleveland bumped Manziel up the depth chart two days after his return.

Let’s speculate wildly on what else Johnny will be criticized for:

TMZ: Manziel likely murdered beloved cartoon character Scooby Doo in order to wear his skin to a Halloween party.

HEADLINE: JOHNNY BUYS UNDERAGE KIDS ALCOHOL, PROBABLY

Johnny has a nice night out in Cleveland (yes I’m sure it’s possible) and decides to buy the whole bar a shot to show his appreciation for their support.

 

HEADLINE: MANZIEL HAS PROBLEM WITH BLACK TEAMMATES

Johnny Manziel develops a great rapport with new Cleveland wide receiver Wes Welker.

 

HEADLINE: FLIPPANT JOHNNY  SKIPS THURSDAY MORNING BROWNS QB MEETING

Manziel stops on side of Cleveland road on the way to Browns headquarters to help homeless veteran that is having a stroke. The former Heisman winner resuscitates him, thanks him for his service to our country, then saves 12 golden retriever puppies from a burning veterinary hospital. He is 13 minutes late for meeting.

 

HEADLINE: REPORTS INDICATE JOHNNY IS A BALL HOG

Reportedly, Manziel even demands that the center hands him the ball between his legs after he utters “hike” a specific number of times.

 

HEADLINE: SMART BUSINESS  — MANZIEL ENTERS FINANCIAL MARKET WITH VINCE YOUNG

No one would ever do this.

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About Evan Knopp

Content Specialist at TicketCity.